Story of My Life: Naruto Edition- Take 2
by FieryKnight6241
Summary: Naruto was Hokage. The world was at peace. Sasuke was back. Madara was dead. Orochimaru was dead. All of the Konoha nine were revived be Obito's Rinn Tensei. Everything was awesome. So why the hell did Naruto have to tamper with a time travel scroll? Because he's an idiot.
1. Prologue

Naruto sat at his hokage's desk, flipping through his paperwork.

"Mizukage wants to chop my head off, Raikage wants to chop my head off, Tsuchikage wants to chop my head off, Gaara once again proclaims his love for me to the world... ah here's an interesting one!" Naruto studied the scroll intently.

A prototype jutsu that could possibly reverse time, created by unknown sealing master that he probably shouldn't trust. But hey! A time traveling jutsu! Naruto supposed that he could use something like that to catch up on some more por- ahem training.

Naruto looked through the instructions.

 _Hmmm... So I just put my hand here, channel chakra, and it will send me back in time 5 minutes for every ring I draw around the kanji for time._

"Great! So I just channel chakra here and... BAM!"

Nothing happened.

Naruto picked up the scroll in confusion, reading through it once again.

"Ahhh, missed a part. It says that I need to put all my chakra into the seal, don't ask why."

Of course, there was another part at the bottom, but it was scribbled out in black sharpie. Several arrows, labeled DO NOT READ pointed at the area that was covered in marker. But who cared about that! Black is a boring, drab color. Avoid black unless heavily diluted with orange. So Naruto wisely decided to skip over the part of the scroll that probably had crucial information required to understanding the jutsu.

Come to think of it, the only reason Naruto had even took the scroll from his pile of paperwork was because it was covered in orange.

The blonde Hokage slammed his hand onto the center of the scroll once again, poising dramatically.

"One step for man, one giant leap for mankind!" Naruto proclaimed.

A flash of light, and then everything went black.

Not that Naruto knew that he was quoting someone hadn't even been born yet. He just thought it sounded cool.


	2. Once Upon a Time

**FULL CHAPTER NAME:** Once Upon a Time there was a Man named Naruto Uzumaki

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Author's note: So... another chapter! FYI, I have another story on my profile called Cold Hearted! Umm, it's a bit of a dark story with humor. Go check it out on my profile? Please?

Also, PS: The Last: Naruto the Movie reference was put in there as a joke, please don't read it and then start thinking that I'm a bad writer.

PSS: I wrote this assuming that people have already read the manga

* * *

 **Speech Index- IMPORTANT! READ THIS OR YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE STORY!**

 **Kyuubi Talk**

 _ **Kyuubi Thinking**_

Naruto Talking

 _Naruto Thinking_

 **Kyuubi: Naruto imitating Kyuubi**

Naruto: Naruto Imitating Naruto

* * *

Naruto woke up in a dull grey apartment.

"What the hell happened?" Naruto groaned, sitting up.

He surveyed his surroundings.

Trash, strewn all around him. Empty ramen cups littered the ground, attracting flies from all around.

Naruto winced as a pungent smell reached his nose.

 _Damn... What the heck is that smell? And why is everything so... big?_

He hopped off the bed and walked around the building.

"Is this... my old apartment building?" Naruto wondered.

Naruto sat down, cross legged, and closed his eyes. He placed his hands in the weird way that Shikamaru did, and started to think.

 _Hmmm._

Smoke blew out of his ears and the blonde boy collapsed onto his side.

 _Note to self: Never try to think._

So Naruto resolved to go on with his life like he normally would.

He opened the fridge he had found and took out a carton of milk.

He drank it.

He put it back in.

And then suddenly his mind was blown.

No seriously, fire spewed out and everything, courtesy of Kyuubi.

"Oh my god I just found out what happened!" Naruto exclaimed, "Orochimaru secretly cloned himself then did a kawarimi with the toothbrush that was outside of his cell! Then he sneaked out and knocked out all of his guards before they could sound the alarm! Then he transformed into a faraway sealing master and secretly entered a yearly time travel scroll under the guise of a minute time travel scroll! Then I got the scroll and tried to teleport 20 _minutes_ into the past but I accidentally teleported 20 _years_ into the past!"

Naruto start gasping for breath after that long speech addressed to no one in particular.

 **Or maybe you put too much chakra into the scroll and made it malfunction you dumbass.**

Naruto paused.

"Maybe that works too," he sighed, defeated by the awesome intellect of the Kyuubi.

A beat.

"So... what to do now?"

A beat.

...

...

"Fine, I'll think of a way to get back myself," Naruto huffed.

 **You can't get back.**

Naruto traveled into his mindscape.

"Excuse me?" Naruto asked, placing his hands on his hips.

 **That's not how the scroll works. Why do you think it said "Put all your chakra into the jutsu?" The seal doesn't let you travel back in time. It reverses time itself, resetting the world. It requires a massive amount of energy and chakra to perform.**

Naruto's eyes brightened.

"Then we can just un-reverse time!" He exclaimed, completely missing the kyuubi's point.

 **Un-reversing time is like unscrambling eggs. It's impossible.**

Realization dawned on Naruto's face.

"So we're stuck here?"

 **Yes.**

The former hokage fell onto his knees, splashing sewer water all over his mindscape pants. Tears of despair flowed down his whiskered cheeks.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO！" Naruto screamed dramatically.

Kyuubi smiled smugly. He rarely got to enjoy watching Naruto suffer anymore, after "The Last: Naruto the Movie."

"A-all that ramen!? All gone? It never existed? That time I ate more ramen than all of Konoha combined in a ramen slurping competition? It never happened!?"

The giant orange fox fell over on his side, dumbfounded by his jailer's bout of stupidity.

Naruto suddenly straightened up, magically drying all of his tears without even wiping them.

"By the way Kyuubi, what day is it today?" Naruto asked.

 **I believe that you are doing the bell test with Kakashi today. It's also 7:30 AM. 2 hours later than the meeting time of 5:30.**

Naruto snorted.

 _So that means I got 2 hours until Kakashi arrives._

"Alright I'm leaving ground Training ground 7 then. I wanna go meet Sasuke and Sakura," He said nonchalantly.

Naruto strolled through Konoha, on his way to Training ground 7; amazed at how different the world looked as a child.

He arrived at Training Ground 7 to the rage of his teammates.

"Where the hell have you been?" Sasuke said angrily, "It's 7:30, we were supposed to meet at 5:30!"

Naruto stroked an imaginary beard, getting a faraway look in his eyes.

The ramen guru spoke in a wise, soothing voice. "Once upon a time, there was a man named Naruto Uzumaki. He was great. And awesome. Everyone admired him. He was awesome. He was also awesome. So one day, he wakes up brights and early at 4:30 PM, to go to the Bell Test that is meant to pit teammates against each other, and the secret to passing is teaming up against the jounin to take the bells."

"Say what now?" Sakura said, mystified.

The blonde continued, ignoring her question.

"So Naruto Uzumaki was very awesome."

"I GET IT ALREADY! YOU'RE AWESOME! WHY ARE YOU LATE!?" The 2 genin shouted.

"So Naruto started his normal morning routine; talking to the Kyuubi. It went a little like this."

Naruto sucked in a huge breath, and proceeded to reenact the conversation he had with the Kyuubi; using an extremely gravelly and inaccurate voice for his orange fox demon friend.

 **Kyuubi: You reversed time.**

Naruto: What? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Wait, can't I un-reverse time?

 **Kyuubi: You can't un-reverse time.**

Naruto: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 **Kyuubi: Where is the trigger!**

Naruto: Say what now?

 **Kyuubi: The child of Ra's al Ghul made the jump.**

Naruto: Excuse me?

 **Kyuubi: Harvey Dent. Can we trust him?**

Naruto cleared his throat, finished with an accurate representation of his morning.

"And that's how it went."

 **I do not sound like that. Kyuubi growled.**

 _Yeah you do._ Naruto retorted.

"So Naruto finished his morning conversation with the Kyuubi. He traveled to the Team 7 Training Ground for the Genin test. Then a black cat crossed his way and he had to take a 30 minute detour. On the detour, he helped 3 poor, helpless old ladies cross the street, taking away 30 minutes of his time. Then, he finally arrived at team 7 training ground." Naruto finished his speech with a smile that threatened to split his face.

Sakura's eyebrows ticked.

"How did you end up here 2 hours late if you woke up an hour before the meeting time and it took you an hour to get here?" she asked.

"Anyway, if you want to know where Kakashi sensei is, I can show you." Naruto informed them, completely ignoring Sakura's question yet again. Also conveniently avoiding the fact that she had uncovered a hole in his story.

Sasuke pouted and turned his head away from the blonde, afraid to catch his dobeness.

"If you follow me, you might be able to convince Kakashi to start the test early. Hint? Hint?" Naruto baited his brooding teammate.

Sasuke grunted. Then growled. Then he proceeded to exhibit make many animalistic sounds that showed how broody he was being before standing up.

"Take me to Kakashi."

Naruto saluted. "Yessir!"

Sasuke's eyebrows twitched.

"Lets go!" Naruto shouted in glee.

Sasuke and Naruto left at speeds faster than the human eye could track, leaving Sakura to chase after them.

They landed on a tree overlooking the memorial stone in seconds, partly because they were really fast, and partly because the memorial stone was only 100 yards away from where they were waiting. It was also smack dab in the middle of Training Ground 7.

Sasuke's eyebrows twitched for the second time in the chapter.

"He was here the WHOLE TIME!?" He fumed.

"Pretty much," Naruto replied.

 **CRASH.**

Sakura landed next to her teammates with an oomph, completely exhausted and struggling to catch her breath.

Naruto glanced at her and sighed.

"Well, she's passed out." He commented.

He turned toward Sasuke, and found himself staring at blank space. The Uchiha had apparently jumped down to confront Kakashi.

He watched as Sasuke confronted Kakashi.

"Start the test," He growled.

Kakashi didn't turn around.

"Young people. So impatient these days." Kakashi said airily.

"I'll teach you impatient!" Sasuke yelled.

The Uchiha drew a kunai and slashed at the log in front of him.

 _Wait... what?_ Sasuke thought.

The brooding genin found himself pinned to the ground, face planted firmly into the dirt.

The silver haired jounin had Sasuke's arm pinned to his back, his head pushed to the ground while he squatted on his student's back. Kakashi smiled that wicked, wicked smile underneath his mask.

"I guess we're starting early today," He whispered in Sasuke's ear.

He held two bells in front of Sasuke's eyes. "You see these bells, kid? Take one from me, and you pass. Fail, and you get sent back to the academy. You're a smart boy. I'm sure you know why there are only 2 bells."

" **HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!"**

Sakura, Sasuke, and Kakashi all turned to stare at the source of the noise. It turned out to be Naruto, who had fell off his tree branch and collapsed onto the ground, laughing his ass off.

"Sas- _Uke._ Sasu- _gay!_ The Gay Uke is getting Arabian Goggles from his teacher!" Naruto coughed, then started laughing again.

Mystified, Kakashi looked down and realized how the scene looked. Him, sitting on top of his student, holding 2 bells over his eyes...

The Team 7 sensei coughed.

Kakashi got off of Sasuke and straightened up. "Ahem.

1\. Naruto, shut up or I'll castrate you.

2\. Sasuke, Sakura, pray that you never find out what "Arabian Goggles" are.

3\. Naruto, where the hell did you even find out what "Arabian Goggles" are!?"

Naruto cleared his throat.

"Once upon a time..."

"SHUT UP! I DIDN'T MEAN IT LITERALLY!" Kakashi yelled, his badassness completely stripped away by Naruto's fit of laughter.

"So, erm, you heard what the rules were. Get these bells from me, and come at me with the intent to kill. And erm... Begin!"

The three genin simultaneously scattered into the forest.

...

"Naruto, I can see you peeking from behind the memorial stone," Kakashi said, deadpanned.

"Damn it!"

Make that 2 genin.

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So, sorry it took me so long to update. I've been really busy with school. I promise to update quicker in the future. :) Also, if you don't know what Arabian Goggles are, search it up on Google. Then clear your history. Then trash you PC/laptop. Then change your IP address. Then move out of your house, and into a country that sanctions US criminals. Never use the internet or talk to anyone ever again.


End file.
